It’s summer. And I’m a college student. And because of this combination, my brain has automatically been programmed to believe that I have a free pass to do whatever I want. Sure, I work 40 hours a week and take a night class, but everyday when I get home from work I get to reward myself with the next 8 hours of anything I think sounds good, right? Trust me, it sounds a lot more logical after a day of placating angry customers and repeatedly running up 3 flights of stairs in a pencil skirt and heels (not recommended) in order to serve people who open their door half dressed (I suppose that just comes with working at a hotel… but really.)
Well, this is essentially the mindset that I’ve gotten into this summer and I’m going to give you a wild guess at how well this has turned out for me. On a positive note – I found out that I don’t have Lymes disease or low iron – but on the other side of that, I guess I have nothing to blame my crabbiness on now. Darn it. I feel like a lot of young college students can get into that habit of seeing summer as a “time off” from the normal responsibilities of life. College is a unique time in life and one that I know will never come again, but I’ve realized that summer is not a “time off” from working on my spiritual life, or my intellectual life, or my emotional or physical health. Yet, that is what I have found myself doing.
As an introverted phlegmatic, I’ve found that a particular weakness of mine is slothfulness. I can seriously be downright lazy sometimes. Also, it probably doesn’t help that I’ve now perfected my “sloth (as in the animal) pose”. It’s quite comfy. I’ve noticed though that being lazy doesn’t only affect me and my personal goals for my life, but it affects the people around me. When I want to be lazy I’m not thinking about other people, I’m thinking about myself and my petty worldly desires.
Ultimately, this isn’t what I want my summer to be about. I don’t want it to be about me, because if I am focused on myself then I lose a ton of ground in my spiritual growth. Instead of remembering my ultimate goal of living a holy life in order to spend eternity with Christ, I get sidetracked and focus on other selfish desires, such as having an (outwardly) put-together life in order to impress other people or seeing how much I can shirk on my responsibilities in order to get the most leisure out of summer. The problem with chasing those selfish desires is that they are easy. And that’s why I unfortunately chase them so much of my life. It’s easy, but it doesn’t make me happy. Good thing I found that out only 11 weeks into summer…
I know college is a time to figure out who I am and who I want to be, and because of that I tend to place the focus on myself a lot. But if I do that, I forget to love. I forget to love Christ. I forget to love those around me. I think I’m loving myself, but the choices I make, if they are done out of laziness or selfish desire, are really hurting me in the long run.
What do you love? Do you love sacrificing your time and energy to make someone else’s day? Do you love to stop into Adoration for a few moments to cultivate an intimate friendship with God? Do you love to get home from work, forget about other people and your goal of exercising and eating well and instead watch a movie and eat way more than one serving of chocolate covered acai blueberries)? For me, it depends on the day, but I hope with the few weeks of summer that I have left, I will be able to focus more on Christ and other people and choose love instead of laziness.
Also, for the record, I found out that these so called “blueberries” aren’t actual blueberries at all. They’re “fruit juice pieces”. That shot my whole “attempt-to-convince-myself-that-they-were-actually-healthy” to the ground.
Today, something that I love: